Awesomesaurus

Awesomesaurus (06.11.10)

This drawing may not be as awesome as this, but after a bit of practice, it soon will be.

Believe me, it soon will be.

Where the Fuck Have I Been?

Good question. But I think I’m back now.

I hope you can forgive me. Jesus already has. But to make up for lost time, here’s a random video about boobs.

Sexiest hand in the world.

my hand. so sexeh.

So Kathy demands I show proof that it’s really my hand I’ve been drawing.

It’s only fair. Maybe I’ve had six fingers all this time and I’ve only been drawing five. Or maybe I haven’t been drawing my hand at all. Maybe — I’ve been drawing yours.

…Whoa.

Foreshortening: WTF!?

I’m not gay. I’m pretty sure of that. My girlfriend’s pretty sure of that. She makes me pretty sure of that.  The kind of sure that never makes me wonder how sure I am. That kind of sure.

But if I’m so sure, then why are my fingers starting to look like penises man pencils? And what does “foreshortening” have to do with my penises fingers?

Guest Art: Caryn Ortiz

Caryn Ortiz's Hand

Anticipating my failure at drawing proper open palms, Caryn sketched her own hand .

Coming from a woman without any artistic background (other than hanging from a metal bar and calling it dancing), this is pretty awesome for a first try. But there’s still a lot of room for improvement.

Click the cut to see how I improved on the drawing.

Open Palms: Bad drawings = bad puns

Left & Right (06.05.10)

When I was a young lad feeding from my mother’s teat (that means boobs for all of you in the 1st grade), she told me I was destined for great things.

Great things, she said. Though she didn’t tell me what those things would be, I’ve become pretty sure they wouldn’t have anything to do with drawing open palms.

Unless she was referring to sucking teats. ‘Cause I do that like a pro. I sucked on her so hard she lost weight and married my father. They had four kids and lived happily ever after. Without me, of course, because I was born out of wedlock. That or I had alien hands.

Click the jump to find out what the hell I’m talking about.

Sick of drawing hands, drew this instead.

Thinking of Me Thinking (05.31.10)

Because I’m in your head, blowing your mind.